conscious parenting

Why a gender equal society starts at home

Why a gender equal society starts at home

This term - for the first time ever - our junior school introduced the uniform option of trousers for girls. Previously, they had needed to wear a loose tartan tunic with either a plain turtleneck or shirt and tie (I know - at least my 5 year old already knows how to get dressed for the boardroom), and now they can opt for long grey trousers like the boys.

The idea was a slow burner. A couple of innovators came in on the first day of term with trousers, tie and shirt (respect), a handful more joined them a couple of weeks later with the trouser and jumper option, and my 7-year-old daughter – an early majority in this respect - took until half-term to bite the bullet.

The weather plus the current girl craze for handstands (no-one wants to show their pants off at this age) has helped sway a late majority and now we are probably at a third of the female population of the school in trousers (my 9-year-old won’t go near them).

Which I think is brilliant. Because it’s been a child-led innovation and it shows just how little they are even aware of the gender stereotypes that society and we as parents so often unconsciously project onto them.

Going on a mama sabbatical and why naked, wild swimming made me cry...

Going on a mama sabbatical and why naked, wild swimming made me cry...

And this, I learnt, is what being wild means. Not just the outdoor camping, the cooking on an open fire and the lack of electricity but the unfurling of the constrictions that we unknowingly place upon ourselves. Being wild means peeling back the layers of conditioning, being untamed, unfettered and giving yourself the permission to be messy rather than permanently nice, neat, kind, happy, caring, good and flexible. It means trusting that what you are feeling IS who you truly are and that you don't in fact need to fit in. In essence, being wild means revelling in the freedom to be yourself. 

Duties versus needs? Welcome to mama guilt!

Duties versus needs? Welcome to mama guilt!

Today I'm feeling guilty. That special kind of guilty that only mamas feel. The kind that implies that you are not doing what you should be doing, that you are putting yourself first before the kids, that the kids are your duty and therefore somehow you have failed and above all, that you are selfish.