But being accompanied by just one child - for the first time ever since she was a tiny baby made me realise that we both (perhaps unfairly) expected more of her when she was by herself than we would have done if she had been accompanied by her merry troupe. Whilst at the same time, I found myself ‘caring’ for her more over the two days that we spent away than I usually do when she takes up her role as eldest of her clan. So paradoxically, having only one child around made me into a MORE attentive but also LESS sensitive parent…
The Fluid Nature of Parenting - When 3 Isn't A Crowd
But being accompanied by just one child - for the first time ever since she was a tiny baby made me realise that we both (perhaps unfairly) expected more of her when she was by herself than we would have done if she had been accompanied by her merry troupe. Whilst at the same time, I found myself ‘caring’ for her more over the two days that we spent away than I usually do when she takes up her role as eldest of her clan. So paradoxically, having only one child around made me into a MORE attentive but also LESS sensitive parent…
Gina Ford or Philip Larkin - what is your parenting style?
This is something I’ve been asking myself recently. Pondering what it might be, whether I actually have one and whether it even matters in the grand scheme of things?
I’ve been asking myself because the family dynamic has shifted. A new paradigm has crept up on us and all of a sudden the kids are no longer toddlers who need me to do everything for them. So I’m wondering what my new role looks like.
With my youngest now 6, and my eldest soon to reach 2-digit figures (yikes), it’s become (a little) less about enforcing guidelines around nutrition, hygiene and bedtimes and more about strengthening their values, consciousness and perspective.
In short, I too am being asked to grow up.
Why a gender equal society starts at home
This term - for the first time ever - our junior school introduced the uniform option of trousers for girls. Previously, they had needed to wear a loose tartan tunic with either a plain turtleneck or shirt and tie (I know - at least my 5 year old already knows how to get dressed for the boardroom), and now they can opt for long grey trousers like the boys.
The idea was a slow burner. A couple of innovators came in on the first day of term with trousers, tie and shirt (respect), a handful more joined them a couple of weeks later with the trouser and jumper option, and my 7-year-old daughter – an early majority in this respect - took until half-term to bite the bullet.
The weather plus the current girl craze for handstands (no-one wants to show their pants off at this age) has helped sway a late majority and now we are probably at a third of the female population of the school in trousers (my 9-year-old won’t go near them).
Which I think is brilliant. Because it’s been a child-led innovation and it shows just how little they are even aware of the gender stereotypes that society and we as parents so often unconsciously project onto them.
5 reasons why all mamas should try life coaching
So why would you need a life coach when you’re doing perfectly well on your own, thank you very much…
Well, ARE you? Truly?
Are you living the life that you envisaged for yourself before the life bomb that is kids? Are you, for example, being paid to do what you love? Are you mothering in a calm and positive way? Are you successfully managing the work/life/parenting tussle? Do you feel confident and happy? Are you proud of your body and the way that you look? Are you carving out some regular me-time?
Sadly, most mamas aren’t doing many of the above, regardless of how talented, balanced and brimming with self-esteem they were before embarking on the parenting adventure.
Not that it’s anyone’s fault. The will is usually there. Just not enough energy to go round after everyone else’s needs have come first…