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Can women really 'have it all?'

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Can women really 'have it all?'

Having it all can mean lots of things. It depends on you: what you are like as a person, your unique talents, skills and knowledge, as well as what brings you joy. Ultimately, to create a life that is in alignment with your needs, you need to know yourself. Balance, happiness and fulfilment require radical self-honesty:

What do you want your legacy to be? How important is your career to your sense of self (does it define you or is it just something you do to pay the bills)? What do you consider the most valuable things in life? What does success look like to you? What kind of parent do you want to be? What are your life goals? And what is worth sacrificing in order to achieve these?   

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Why self-care is a revolutionary act

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Why self-care is a revolutionary act

As a life coach for mums who want the most from life – to be the best mama they can be AND to find fulfilment and happiness in the workplace – self-care is one of the most important items in my coaching tool kit. 

Why? Because we can’t have it all and do it all, all at the same time, without it.

A solopreneur's secret superpower - sleep

A solopreneur's secret superpower - sleep

We all know how important sleep is for our mental, emotional and physical well-being because we’ve all experienced what it’s like to feel like we’ve not had enough: grumpy, unmotivated and not fully able to function.

If we want to be firing on all cylinders, we need to count sleep as one of our major fuels.

And yet sometimes it can be so elusive. Why? Because it is SO easily influenced by how we feel: anxiety, stress, worry, fear, excitement or nerves can all prevent our bodies from reaching the necessary state of physical calm in order to fall asleep.

But if you are a solopreneur, aka the marketing, strategy, admin, sales and accounts department rolled into one (not to forget office manager as well as the heart and soul of your brand), these feelings – and more – are often part of the course.

Because you are relying entirely on yourself to grow your business.

Not only can this feel lonely, it can also be stressful, especially when you know that as a result of tiredness, your precious productivity will stall.

So to make sleep into the superpower that it has the potential to be, we have to know how to pause, unwind our bodies and switch off our minds. Not easy when you have a million and one things swirling around your solopreneurial brain. Which is why I’ve listed 8 awesome ways to help you get there!

To party or not to party? An introvert's dilemna...

To party or not to party? An introvert's dilemna...

2018 is all about sovereignty: about knowing what is best for you (and me) and acting on it with confidence. Unapologetically. Who else's in?

How to tame your 'should monster'...

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Sometimes I like to pick a tarot card for myself. Even though, officially, I know that you are not supposed to. I shuffle the pack, ask the question "what do I need to know, right now?" and pick the one that is winking at me. And usually, I find it confirms or guides me towards an insight or message that I had already clocked - deep down - but perhaps hadn’t fully admitted to my conscious self yet. The card acts a bit like an intuition sign post. And let’s face it, in today’s era of the 'glorification of busy', we need all the sign posts we can get…

So, the other day I got this bad boy - the seven of swords - which came out upside down, which means it is "reversed".

And as always, it was spot on.

I really should know how to read the pack myself by now but instead I prefer to rely - lazily - on an expert whose area of genius this really is. And so, according to Biddy Tarot (whose interpretations really resonate with me), this is a card of "mental challenges and rites of passage”: I need to "break free from old habits and ways of thinking in order to overcome the blockages that currently stand in my way. I need to accept what is happening to me and act on it, rather than trying to escape. I need to do things differently, releasing myself from past behaviours or limiting beliefs so that I can move forwards in my life".

Ring a bell, anyone?

Given that autumn is a time of letting go, of releasing any habits or beliefs that no longer serve us, this card felt pretty apt. Because I am indeed trying to move forwards in a different direction. I have explored in depth over this past year who I am and what really turns me on, I have released whatever doesn’t, and I have made my passion – supporting others to regain the confidence and courage to be who they REALLY are rather than who they THINK they should be in order to be ‘accepted’ - into a new business: life coaching.

And that brings up stuff: having to own what you really stand for and publicise that (scary), as well as facing potential rejection for what you really believe in (double scary).

But these are all good fears to release right now, in the same way that the trees are releasing their leaves and Nature in general is starting to hunker down in preparation for winter.

Which is also what I’m trying to do: hunker down for winter. Which for me – Miss Duracell Bunny – is nigh on impossible. But just as I don’t let my life coaching clients off the hook (remember, NOTHING is impossible), I can’t let myself off the hook either.

So I am really, really trying NOT to 'make the most' out of my newfound, day-time freedom now that the three little muskateers are all at school. And if that sounds counter-intuitive, I’m not surprised. Because we are taught - all the time - to ‘make the most’ of everything.

But it dawned on me the other day just how crazy this is. That this whole concept not only instills a fear of deadlines and that time is running out, but it also implies that there is a wrong (= wasteful) and a right (= productive) way to fill it up. Hence the glorification of busy.

So having realised this, I’m trying instead to insert (teeny, tiny, manageable) spaces of not-doing, of non-achievement, of non-improvement and of non-learning into my day: such as meditation for at least 10 minutes; taking a mini time-out in order to take a really conscious, deep inhale and a really conscious, deep exhale or just by appreciating the beauty that surrounds me inside the house and outside in nature.

And it's WORKING.

Small pockets of pause dotted throughout the day = less overwhelm, more inner peace and a quieter 'should' monster.

And with the season of autumn well and truly upon us, my seven of swords reversed tarot card, tonight’s full moon, and my on-and-off-aching right shoulder (telling me that I have taken on or am 'shouldering' too much), I have all the reminders that I need to LET GO, to TRUST and to simply enjoy and take pleasure in being NATURALLY me.

What is the should monster whispering into your ear? Which unhelpful self-belief could you do with letting go of this autumn? Do you have a fear of deadlines or of getting things ‘wrong’? Do you find it hard to step off the achievement hamster wheel? Share with me in the comments below! And even better, book in for a complimentary 45 minute life coaching "discovery session" and we can work on it together! 

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