I'm off to Narnia. Coming?

Yup. It’s been one of those days. ⠀⠀ Actually it hasn’t. It’s been great: I worked on my new life coaching website, I went to my first networking event (scary AF in theory, fun in practise) and I applied to be on a Mumsnet Facebook live panel (easy to do, will deal with the obvious fear fallout factor later, if selected).

So I was feeling pretty good.

Until I was required to morph into a mama. And the kids annoyed the shit out of me: throwing toys around the kitchen and knocking over glasses of water x 2, refusing to do a very easy homework crossword which really only required an ounce of effort, having a tantrum over missing 3 minutes of a film they’ve already watched and know inside out, topped off by being called in for a 'chat' by a teacher over some misplaced frustration. ⠀ ⠀

Tipped me over the edge. ⠀ ⠀

So instead of meditating, breathing, going to my scheduled yoga class and doing something generally uplifting and edifying, I poured myself a massive gin and tonic, decided that I no longer like it, poured myself a massive glass of wine, drank it, cancelled yoga and ordered a fattening pizza. ⠀ ⠀

Parenting is THE hardest thing in the world. Fact. Of which all parents are fully aware. ⠀ ⠀

However zen, centred, compassionate and tolerant you are feeling, children WILL shake that (already fragile) core to the point until your self-control has crumbled. However much you try to be 'good'. ⠀ ⠀

They just KNOW how to fast track you to your worst self. And it’s relentless. ⠀ ⠀

I know what the 'lesson' for me is. Kind of. But sometimes I really can’t be arsed with spirituality. Especially on day 19 (aka watch out!) of my cycle. ⠀ ⠀

So I’d like to give a big shout out today to all the mamas and papas who know what I’m talking about. Who can’t give up and walk off. Who keep on going. Day after day. After day. After day. ⠀

And if YOU are one of those incredible people and need a friendly ear - reach out and let me know. I'm here. And I want to help. Because this is actually my niche. I'm a life coach for 'mamas who want more'. ⠀

And guess what? I’m good at it. Because I get it. I want more too. ⠀

See you in Narnia. Bring pizza and wine... ⠀

Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

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How the Goddess Lilith got me out of my funk...

Meet Lilith. A Middle-Eastern goddess of abundance and fertility (she gifted humans with agriculture) as well as death and transformation. Pretty powerful, eh? I picked this beauty from my Goddesses Knowledge Cards pack last week and she's been perched on my laptop ever since.

Not just because of the abundance - after all, we could all do with a bit of abundance - but also because of her story.

I was feeling a bit fragile as well as angry last week (solar eclipse + heavy work load + 14 weeks of 3 small kids at home with me + pre-menstrual + trying to work out what my soul "message" was = overwhelm), so the fact that she was the first woman created and the first wife of Adam "who refused to be subordinate to him in any way" inspired me. In a just-get-out-of-your-own-head-and-start-seeing-the-bigger-picture kind of way.

Because that is my kind of feminism: refusing to be subordinate to ANYONE. Not out of defensiveness or from a place of aggression. But out of a place of self-worth. The energy is very different. Lilith honours who she is by respecting her own needs, dreams and desires. She sees these as equal to anyone else's.

For when you are truly empowered, there is no need to put anyone else down in order to feel good about yourself. There isn't a finite amount of "feel-good pie" which requires one to have less than the other.

We are all entitled to abundance, self-worth, success, fulfillment and happiness. Every single one of us. And wishing for it for yourself DOES NOT mean that someone else has to make do with less. There is more than enough to go round.

True empowerment comes from within. A knowing that you are unique and beautiful and a gift to the world, whatever your flaws, whatever your imperfections and deepest secrets.

And Lilith models this beautifully because she is also associated with the lotus - that gorgeous flower that blossoms out of dark, decaying earth.

The symbolism here is that Lilith therefore encourages, and challenges us, to integrate our own darkest shadows however they manifest in us. She inspires us to look at the aspects of us that we prefer to keep private because they are shameful or "not nice" - our meanness, our superiority, our unkindness, our manipulation, our viciousness for example - and accept that they are indeed part of us.

Because when we can do this, they then have less of a hold over us.  We can can control them or choose whether or not to act out upon the impulse behind them. We become aware: conscious not just instinctual.

And that leads to FREEDOM...

THIS is what I needed to be reminded of last week. When I was feeling overwhelmed, emotional and frustrated. Lilith inspired me to own all of my feelings, even the "negative" ones, to love and accept that part of myself, and then from a place of wholeness and self-worth - subordinate to no-one - to pick myself up and get on with being me. Unique and flawed and precious. Just as I am. Just as you are.

Lilith helped me see the bigger picture. I'd love to know if and how Lilith resonates with you? Let me know in the comments below! 

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Women's Empowerment starts young!

There is no doubting whose daughter this is... Not only did she ask to get her hair cut short aged 5 (I did the same aged 7), but for her birthday manicure/pedicure treat she went for blue toes and neon hands (non-matching obvs)...

I can't think where she gets her independent streak from...And I couldn't feel prouder.

Because despite the fact that it has often been a MAJOR source of irritation to me - let's face it, independent thought and obedience don't fit that well together - I couldn't wish more for a young girl growing up in this day and age.

For the world out there is tough. Social media is pervasive. Opinions on what a woman should do, look like, feel, eat, wear and how they should behave have never been stronger.

So women's empowerment needs to start young. And it is our duty as parents to model this at home. Which doesn't mean allowing our daughters to disregard all of the house "rules" and run amok (no, no, no - I'm a Gina-Ford-parenting-control-freak, remember?) but it does mean allowing them to express themselves in whichever way feels real to them. Because THIS is (time for my buzz word here) AUTHENTICITY.

Because children do have their own, unique voices and opinions, even at a young age. And if we stifle those by overruling them with OUR needs and desires, all the time, just because we have been put "in charge" as parents, then they quickly learn that theirs are not valued and therefore that there is no point in articulating them.

And in a society that doesn't value women as highly as it does men as a whole, this damage lasts well into adulthood. Until we take the momentous leap of faith required to trust in ourselves again. To listen to our intuition. To our excitement (that's a yes!) and to our hesitation (that's probably a no!). Sound familiar?

If we weren't allowed to speak our minds when we were little, we quickly fall out of practise. Because it is a muscle that needs constant stimulation.

So whilst it may seem like a small thing to have acted upon her desire to cut her hair short, and an even smaller thing to let her choose her own nail varnish colour, it isn't. It is huge. And there are so many parents our there vetoing similar choices. Which is such a shame. Because I saw with my own eyes how her behaviour changed from one day to the next: I have a voice! It counts! I can use it to express myself!

Women's empowerment starts at home. It starts with our girls. Whatever their age. I DARE YOU...

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