Stop, Ground, Breathe...

Today I woke up in a BAD mood.⠀ It started when I realised that I still hadn't got rid of my sore throat and flu-like symptoms which meant I'd have to forgo yet another day of my usual exercises (stationary mama = bad mood mama). As the morning progressed and I snapped more frequently and with increasing irritation at family members, I could feel that my hormones were on the rampage (day 21 = bullshit radar is on full volume / minimum tolerance settings). I then discovered that the vastly expensive Xmas tree that arrived yesterday is covered in mud, totally lopsided and won’t stand up straight. And to top it all off, I spent most of the morning trying - and failing - to get my head around social media marketing. All of which left me in a bit of a tizz...

Luckily however, (for those around me), I’m now quite good at observing my emotions. So I knew that I did actually have a CHOICE about whether to continue down the road to overwhelm or whether to take quick remedial action.

And since it was too early for wine and I was too ill to go to yoga, I tried to channel my inner mindfulness guru instead:

i) I sat down on the floor (the nearer you can get to the earth the quicker you can 'ground')⠀ ii) I felt the support and solidity of the floor, and how it had 'got me'⠀ iii) I breathed: long, deep, slow, belly breaths⠀ iv) I said out loud, 3 times, along with my out breaths: “I feel supported” (3 is a sacred number and it’s always worth faking it until you make it)⠀ v) I looked outside at the trees: always there, strong but flexible, neither overwhelmed nor anxious, just alive ⠀ vi) I smiled (see above re faking it to make it)⠀ ⠀

And I felt better!

Because I had become present: aware of my body and its surroundings rather than letting my inner bully/depressive/neurotic run the show. ⠀ ⠀

I’ve also been staring at this photo, taken of our local beach this time last year when we lived in Koh Samui for a month. It reminds me that we CAN create our own reality and that anything is possible if you are bold enough: we dared to take our kids out of school, to take our jobs on the road, to pack up our house and exit the matrix, all in order to find our true selves on a year-long travel adventure. And we're back. And it worked.

So if any of you are also feeling a bit pants, try doing something that brings you into the now: stop, sit, ground, breathe, affirm and connect to Nature.

And remember, I’m there alongside you...⠀

Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

Don’t forget you can also follow me on facebook, youtube & instagram!

I'm off to Narnia. Coming?

Yup. It’s been one of those days. ⠀⠀ Actually it hasn’t. It’s been great: I worked on my new life coaching website, I went to my first networking event (scary AF in theory, fun in practise) and I applied to be on a Mumsnet Facebook live panel (easy to do, will deal with the obvious fear fallout factor later, if selected).

So I was feeling pretty good.

Until I was required to morph into a mama. And the kids annoyed the shit out of me: throwing toys around the kitchen and knocking over glasses of water x 2, refusing to do a very easy homework crossword which really only required an ounce of effort, having a tantrum over missing 3 minutes of a film they’ve already watched and know inside out, topped off by being called in for a 'chat' by a teacher over some misplaced frustration. ⠀ ⠀

Tipped me over the edge. ⠀ ⠀

So instead of meditating, breathing, going to my scheduled yoga class and doing something generally uplifting and edifying, I poured myself a massive gin and tonic, decided that I no longer like it, poured myself a massive glass of wine, drank it, cancelled yoga and ordered a fattening pizza. ⠀ ⠀

Parenting is THE hardest thing in the world. Fact. Of which all parents are fully aware. ⠀ ⠀

However zen, centred, compassionate and tolerant you are feeling, children WILL shake that (already fragile) core to the point until your self-control has crumbled. However much you try to be 'good'. ⠀ ⠀

They just KNOW how to fast track you to your worst self. And it’s relentless. ⠀ ⠀

I know what the 'lesson' for me is. Kind of. But sometimes I really can’t be arsed with spirituality. Especially on day 19 (aka watch out!) of my cycle. ⠀ ⠀

So I’d like to give a big shout out today to all the mamas and papas who know what I’m talking about. Who can’t give up and walk off. Who keep on going. Day after day. After day. After day. ⠀

And if YOU are one of those incredible people and need a friendly ear - reach out and let me know. I'm here. And I want to help. Because this is actually my niche. I'm a life coach for 'mamas who want more'. ⠀

And guess what? I’m good at it. Because I get it. I want more too. ⠀

See you in Narnia. Bring pizza and wine... ⠀

Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

Don’t forget you can also follow me on facebook, youtube & instagram!

Anyone for a forest bathe?

Can you feel how the energy in a wood is unlike that of the urban 'jungle'? Do you feel different when you are in nature: more calm and more embodied? Perhaps you've noticed that your breathing slows, your thoughts are less scattered? If so, you are not inventing things. Because it has been scientifically proven that being around 'greenery' (in any form) reduces the risk of depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, stress and many other scourges of our modern lives.  

Not surprising really given that we are animals at heart. But we seem to forget this and then wonder why we feel like we do when we have been deprived of Nature: cooped up indoors, immobile in front of our computer screens with little natural light, central heating and no expansive outdoor vista.

Which is why “shinrin yoku” or forest bathing is where it’s at for many of us over-civilised, urban dwellers. This Japanese therapy was developed in the 1980s and is so well regarded as a preventative healthcare treatment that it now even has its own dot org.

I try to practise shinrin yoku (sounds more impressive when you say it in Japanese), at least once a week to de-stress, clear my mind and reconnect to my 'higher self' or what I also call my 'whole woman' - the one lurking behind the mama, daughter, partner, yogini, solopreneur, superwoman masks. The part of me that is tuned into Nature, to my instinctual self, to my body. She who is wise, unflappable, endlessly patient and trusting; an objective observer of my monkey-mind.

And it works! The mountainous issues on my radar shrink back to manageable molehills, the urgency of deadlines falls by the way side, and pleasure - bit by bit - takes over the need to perform.

In a forest, I can be unashamedly myself. There is no judgement so I judge myself less. Trees never fail to reset my hard drive and remind me of what (rather than who) I am. 

Why don't you try it for yourself? The spectacular autumnal show that is put on for us at this time of year when the Earth's seasonal cycle turns to releasing and death (a bit dramatic but that's the truth of it) is the perfect excuse to go for a Nature walk. And if you really can’t face leaving home, try hanging out next to a potted plant or staring out of a window at some nearby greenery. Even a patch of grass will do.

We all need regular self-care boosts in life and this is probably one of the easiest to implement and maintain.

Green is the new black...

Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

Don’t forget you can also follow me on facebook, youtube & instagram!

Happiness is a choice...

Unlike kids, who seem to be able to return to a state of uncomplicated joy so easily - being pushed in a swing high and hard (see photo) is pretty much guaranteed to do the job -  adults can find it a little harder to get back to their inner happy place. There just seem to be so many more barriers in place. But because I'd been in a bit of a grump about various things on and off for the month, to the extent that I had even bored myself with my attitude (after all, it takes quite a bit of effort to be in a grump for that long, and I don't have that much spare energy), I thought I would try something different.

So despite waking up yesterday with lots of potential reasons to feel irritated - very tired and like I'd eaten too much the night before (not the best start to the day) - I made a conscious decision to be HAPPY.

And knowing that you sometimes have to 'fake it to make it' and that weirdly, your psyche knows no different, I started by telling myself (out loud) that from this moment on, I was choosing to be happy.

My second related action was not to ignore the many positive mantras and cards I have strategically placed around my working area, but instead to incant these every time I lay my eye on them. I began with the "I am amazing and great things are going to happen today" post-it note, which I have slipped inside my laptop so that it's the first thing I see when I open it. I then proclaimed out loud the very complimentary statement that I have set as my actual password, followed by my newest abundance-attracting, pin-board, post-it note: "my actions create constant prosperity".

Needless to say, I started my work day feeling quite pumped.

I continued my efforts by making sure I actually adhered to my daily alarm (set to remind me to take at least 10 minutes out to meditate half way through the day). And because I really didn't feel like I needed it, I let it turn into 10 minutes of just sitting in silence staring out of my bedroom window at the tree on the street. Which also had a positive effect. Not surprisingly really, because a change of scene = energy reboost; silence = mental refresh; and if you can't actually get out INTO nature, staring at it can have the same grounding effect (kind of).

Lastly, I ended my working day by actually implementing my achievement list. This is like a to-do list (of which I have many dotted around the place) but one that is based on the past rather than the future: each day you write down what you have done really well and what you are proud of yourself for. Yesterday afternoon, I focused on what I had done to grow my business (because I have recently been wrestling with the re-emergence of my powerhouse perfectionist and she thinks that I could ALWAYS do more), and last thing at night, I focused (in my head) on my mothering "skills" (another area of my life in which my inner bully could be described as overzealous).

And guess what? It felt really good!

So instead of transitioning back into motherhood mode (ready for school pick-up, homework, supper, bath, bed palaver) feeling frustrated and a little resentful that I hadn't done enough, I was remarkably calm, content and most importantly, present with the kids.

Because having physically written out what I had already achieved, I didn't feel the need to keep popping back onto my iphone or to wander off elsewhere in my thoughts. And because I was feeling content in myself, I wasn't knocked off centre by the three tiredness / hunger tantrums that kicked off throughout the early evening. I even managed to squeeze in some post-homework, pre-supper mama 'funtime' (hide-and-seek) and didn't even get angry when everyone decided to stop playing half way through and leave me hiding (and nearly suffocating) for almost half a hour. Result!

Which all goes to show just how goddamn powerful our minds are. And that if we set an intention, magnify it by saying it out loud, and underpin it by writing positive things down, that intention can carry us through the whole of the day (however many potential anger/sadness booby traps might be lying in wait for us).

How long will my happiness last? Who knows. But I do believe in the Law of Attraction and today I felt I was being rewarded for my say-it-out-loud-for-two-days-in-a-row-mantras by receiving this incredible compliment from a coaching client (who has just finished a 3 month series with me):

"I have thoroughly enjoyed the life coaching series with you. It helped me consider options I thought were impossible. It helped me rebuild my confidence and the self esteem I was gradually losing. It helped me pluck up the courage that I needed to set myself free, to see a clearer picture of where I am and where I want to be. I feel in control. You are such a talented and inspiring life coach and an amazing person."

Well. If those are the kinds of results that I'm going to continue to attract, then Project Happiness is ongoing!

Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

Don’t forget you can also follow me on facebook, youtube & instagram!

On celebrating...

I used not to be very good at celebrating my successes. I’d take for granted all the hard work that had gone into achieving something and move right onto the next potential goal. I got a kick from the constant forwards momentum, not really knowing what to do with the downtime in between. So I made sure there was no downtime.  I went from one thing to another, ticking them off the list, not really stopping for breath and definitely not stopping to acknowledge the journey.

Until recently. When I decided to change things.

Because effort is great and all that. But so is surrender. BOTH are required to reach a state of 'grace'. And all work and no play doesn’t leave much room for joy. And I kind of want more joy in my life; more fun, more laughter. Don’t you?

So yesterday was the perfect opportunity to take some time out to enjoy a rare tootle on my own trumpet: I celebrated becoming a QUALIFIED LIFE COACH 

6 months of hard work and commitment (3 of them whilst travelling), 14 modules packed full of learnings and gruelling assignments, 14 live training calls with our incredible BYCA teachers and expert coaches, 3 months of being life coached through my own personal goals and 4 months of supporting 4 awesome, pro-bono clients, each through their own six-week coaching series.

I celebrated the fact that back in January this year - whilst living in Bali - I chose to follow my heart by signing up to my amazing course. My intuition had been nudging me towards a career that supports others to become their best, most fulfilled selves for a while, but it took the prospect of all three of the kids going to school, and looming 'empty nest' syndrome to push me over the line into action.

I had a (far-fetched) dream...I took concrete steps towards making it happen...And yesterday, I graduated.  

The result? My soul purpose and my career are in alignment. I am walking my talk. I am embodying RADICAL AUTHENTICITY. 

Since yesterday was also Samhain - the ancient festival that celebrates the end (and beginning) of the Celtic New Year, a time during which the veil between our world and the next becomes its most transparent, I decided to pick a tarot card as a symbol for my vision for next year.

And I got the six of wands, symbolising "success, achievement and public recognition". Even the tarot was celebrating with me!

More poignantly however, the card has an even deeper meaning: it is about having faith in what you have achieved, about not letting fear or guilt get in the way of your success, about feeling proud of yourself and feeling worthy of others' attention. 

It is about BELIEVING IN YOURSELF. 

And this got me thinking about both how easy but also how hard this is to do. For how often do you hold your head up high and feel worthy of other people's attention? How often do you have faith in yourself and how your achievements will be seen by others? How often does fear or guilt stand in the way of your success?

It takes guts. And commitment. And courage.

Which is exactly what I'm going to practise.

Because like most things that don't come easily, they require exercising, just like a muscle. The more you practise courage, the more natural it seems.

Habits break habits.  

Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

Don’t forget you can also follow me on facebook, youtube & instagram!