Wild & free or solid & predictable: what flavour are you?

Wild & free or solid & predictable: what flavour are you?

Are you a creature of habit? Or someone that needs constant change?

It doesn’t really matter which camp you fall into as long as you know which makes you feel most content.

I’m both. I eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch pretty much every single day. I go to the same yoga class with the same teacher twice a week (ideally Bikram) and I cycle the kids to school and back twice a day in our dutch cargo bike (aka our wendy house on wheels). I don’t go out that much so that my introvert is satisfied and I feel calmest when my surroundings are neat and tidy.  All these things make me feel secure and grounded. This is my bourgeois side.

But I also need adventure, freedom and times during which I have very few possessions. I thrive on being The Other, on not knowing what might happen next; I love having my core beliefs challenged and having to think on my toes. This my bohemian side.

Are you a destination addict?

Are you a destination addict?

Destination addiction. It's a tricky one. Are you also a sufferer?

I am. Sometimes. (She says sheepishly).

Well, aren't we all a little? Because isn't it just so much easier to kid yourself that if only 'x' changed, then you would be able to be truly happy: your job, your house, your income, your kids' behaviour, your partner, your weight?

To party or not to party? An introvert's dilemna...

To party or not to party? An introvert's dilemna...

2018 is all about sovereignty: about knowing what is best for you (and me) and acting on it with confidence. Unapologetically. Who else's in?

What is top of your fear list?

 
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Spiders perhaps? (And just in case you were wondering, this one was yellow, black and red, and was the size of my outstretched hand). What feeling does this picture bring up in you? Awe at the beauty of nature? Or FEAR?  

I used to have a phobia against spiders. I remember vividly - still now - waking up screaming aged about 5 having dreamt that a huge one was ontop of my face.

And yet, now, the phobia seems to have gone. Disappeared. Cured!

That doesn't mean I would want this particular spider to live just next to my bed, but it does mean that I didn't mind it having its nest just by my scooter in Bali (during our travel adventure earlier this year). It also meant that I have tolerated quite a big spider dangling just above my desk for the past couple of months.

Which got me thinking - do our fears disappear or at least lessen with exposure to them? Or do they just get replaced with worse ones which put them into perspective? (My phobia of cockroaches has reached an all time high as a result of multiple exposure during the same travel experience. Thank the Lord they are rare in England)

I have been exploring this topic with the new year coming up and in particular, since I was prompted to write down a fear list and to go through it, one by one.

Do you know what my first entry was? Eating alone at a table in a restaurant/cafe/bar.

Which I totally realise is weird. Because it is so common. And normal. But I've never, ever done it. Not even breakfast in a hotel. I always have it sent to my room.

Why? I’m not sure. I need to journal on it. Something to do with feeling self-consciousness. Something about occupying an empty space. A fear of being approached. Intense vulnerability. A feeling of dangerous exposure.

Most odd. But I’m going to work through it and whatever it means for me. 2018 is the year.

Who’s up for the challenge? Which fear can you work through next year? Share below so that we can hold each other accountable!


Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype (no strings attached) and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

Don’t forget you can also follow me on facebookyoutube & instagram!

Feel the fear and make it up!

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Part of being a (recovering) perfectionist is a fear of getting things wrong.

Big things (like diving head-first off the tallest board in the pool), but also seemingly little things (like eating alone in a restaurant or inventing a story on the spot).⠀ ⠀

Embarrassingly, this last example has paralysed me into inaction for the past 6 years. Ever since my eldest child was old enough to ask for a story that wasn’t in a book, that is. ⠀ ⠀

I get the attraction - we all enjoy a bit of bespoke, it makes us feel special - the problem is, improvisation requires confidence in a logical (and well-received) outcome, as well as spontaneous trust in your own creative abilities. And there are no second chances nor opportunities to revise, hone or improve output - essential pre-requisites for any self-respecting perfectionist. ⠀ ⠀

So usually when asked to improvise, I call in the support team. Even when it’s an audience of one, aged 6. How bad could it really be? I’m too scared to find out. “That’s what daddy does, let’s ask him. Mummy reads books”, I say sheepishly. ⠀

But last week something stopped me. I said yes. Feel the fear and do it anyway and all that. ⠀

And, though I say it myself, I rocked! I surprised myself and delighted my daughter. ⠀

Probably just as much because I had made the effort to overcome a secret block that she probably already knew I was avoiding (kids know everything) than because of the content itself. I even went for a trilogy (I was on a roll). ⠀ ⠀

We encountered a small self-confidence hiccup yesterday when creative proceedings were halted by the audience who asked for more “ excitement” in the story: the fear crept back in, the throat went dry, the shoulders hunched. ⠀ ⠀

But I wasn’t deterred. I took it like a true BoboMama and got back on the wagon. The story ended on a cliff-hanger and I think this little fear may just have been crossed off the list...⠀ ⠀

To all the recovering perfectionists out there, what really scares you? And could you conceive of pushing yourself past it? Just for a laugh? To see what would happen? If I can do it, YOU CAN. I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!

⠀Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

Don’t forget you can also follow me on facebookyoutube & instagram!